Obituary for William Benjamin Cleveland II
William “Bill” “Billy Ben” “Cletus” “Head Honcho” “phBill” (the p is silent, just like when he swam) Cleveland passed away on May 2, 2023 at the ripe old age of 82. He was born a poor child, and lived a long full life and sired many, MANY children. He is preceded in death by his sons William III and Michael, and is survived by his loving wife of 43 years, Kitti; sons Tim Cleveland (Joan) and Greg French (Stephanie); daughters Becki Cleveland (Chad Goodwin), Syndi Gemmett (Scott) and Jennifer Cleveland; and his beloved uncle Wilfred (if anyone sees Wilfred, be sure to lock him back in the basement where he belongs). He is also survived by surprisingly few grandchildren: Scott (Ninette), Kia (Kia), Josh (Kate), Shaye (?), Hannah, Lilah, Jeremy (Dody), Jason (Ashley and Brooke), Katy, Mercedes, Will, Jessica (Kyle) and Nicole. Great-grandchildren: Tristin, Christian, Macy, Ike, Leamel, Alex, Nicky, Serena and Lily.
Like most, over time he began enjoying the finer things in life. Early on, he mostly drank Coors Light and Miller Lite (maybe a Miller High Life if he was celebrating....it is the champagne of beers, after all). But over time he moved on to the finer spirits, like JTS Brown. He also couldn’t pass up a $2 shirt at Walmart, but seriously, who can?
And while some people may mellow as they age, not Bill Cleveland. He started competing in tractor drag races and started doing parkour when he turned 70. He did not attend college, but often professed a desire to major in underwater BB stacking. Also gardening. He LOVED gardening, seemingly. But he was just out there to kill things: weeds, ants, wasps, and all insects in general, maybe a mole/vole or rabbit. It was like a vendetta to him. And nobody was faster at math than him; accuracy was not important, but dang he was fast! He says his favorite daughter is Syndi, but everyone knows it is really Becki. He liked to think of himself as a handy guy, but often just ended up with an injury to himself and/or others. And all projects had a limited shelf-life (like, 2 weeks?). His past times included telling corny jokes, his favorite being: A three-legged dog walks into a bar and announces “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.”
But one thing you can say about William Benjamin Cleveland II is that he FIERCELY loved his family. Nothing else mattered. Because of this he will be dearly missed by all of those he loved and those that loved him.
There will be a family-only celebration-of-life in the near future, so if you are one of the many, MANY children you’ll be hearing from somebody soon with details (FYI, there will be no inheritance, so we’re really not expecting many to actually show up). In lieu of flowers, please just pour yourself a big glass of JTS Brown......then pour it right down the drain, because who can seriously drink that stuff?!
Like most, over time he began enjoying the finer things in life. Early on, he mostly drank Coors Light and Miller Lite (maybe a Miller High Life if he was celebrating....it is the champagne of beers, after all). But over time he moved on to the finer spirits, like JTS Brown. He also couldn’t pass up a $2 shirt at Walmart, but seriously, who can?
And while some people may mellow as they age, not Bill Cleveland. He started competing in tractor drag races and started doing parkour when he turned 70. He did not attend college, but often professed a desire to major in underwater BB stacking. Also gardening. He LOVED gardening, seemingly. But he was just out there to kill things: weeds, ants, wasps, and all insects in general, maybe a mole/vole or rabbit. It was like a vendetta to him. And nobody was faster at math than him; accuracy was not important, but dang he was fast! He says his favorite daughter is Syndi, but everyone knows it is really Becki. He liked to think of himself as a handy guy, but often just ended up with an injury to himself and/or others. And all projects had a limited shelf-life (like, 2 weeks?). His past times included telling corny jokes, his favorite being: A three-legged dog walks into a bar and announces “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.”
But one thing you can say about William Benjamin Cleveland II is that he FIERCELY loved his family. Nothing else mattered. Because of this he will be dearly missed by all of those he loved and those that loved him.
There will be a family-only celebration-of-life in the near future, so if you are one of the many, MANY children you’ll be hearing from somebody soon with details (FYI, there will be no inheritance, so we’re really not expecting many to actually show up). In lieu of flowers, please just pour yourself a big glass of JTS Brown......then pour it right down the drain, because who can seriously drink that stuff?!